I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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