I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize