you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
