just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
