Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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