On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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