they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
