Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
