My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
