Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
