He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well you can't waste a boner
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
