Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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