I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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