Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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