I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
