In the future we'll all be gay
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
