Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
