I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
