He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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