How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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