Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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