Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We are two peas in an std pod
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
