bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
