i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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