the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
