He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
