oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
