who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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