the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
