any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
