She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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