But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
