My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
