i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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