Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
