I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
