What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
