you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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