I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
