I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
