if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
