guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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