Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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