Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
