So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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