there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize