There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm really into asian looking animals
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize