Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
