I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
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