Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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