You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
