think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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