I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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