Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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