There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
