When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
