you win again, gameday.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
