Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Mom said you looked used
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize