worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
