Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
