So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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